Indigo Sufi

The Kinks Got it Right for Me.

2006-09-03T19:19:00.000+08:00

I'm Not Like Everybody Else
The Kinks

I wont take all that they hand me down,
And make out a smile, though I wear a frown,
And I'm not gonna take it all lying down,
cause once I get started I go to town.

cause Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else.

And I dont want to ball about like everybody else,
And I dont want to live my life like everybody else,
And I wont say that I feel fine like everybody else,
cause Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else.

But darling, you know that I love you true,
Do anything that you want me to,
Confess all my sins like you want me to,
Theres one thing that I will say to you,
Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else.

Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else
And I dont want to ball about like everybody else,
And I dont want to live my life like everybody else,
And I wont say that I feel fine like everybody else,
cause Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else.

Like everybody else,
Like everybody else,
Like everybody else,
Like everybody else.

If you all want me to settle down,
Slow up and stop all my running round,
Do everything like you want me to,
Theres one thing that I will say to you,
Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else.

Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else.
And I dont want to ball about like everybody else,
And I dont want to live my life like everybody else,
And I wont say that I feel fine like everybody else,
cause Im not like everybody else,
Im not like everybody else.

Like everybody else (like everybody else),
Like everybody else (like everybody else),
Like everybody else (like everybody else),
Like everybody else.

Hee Hee Hee

2006-08-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

My ideologies were shut down along with my view of what can be.
I woke up to find that tomorrow will never be free.
And again it slips under my subconcious mental colony
Surreal incantation of frogs and lavender, dandelion and blackberry
Creates a monster I seldom want to see
Who comes in the night and snatch the little toddlers three
Or might it just be one of those crazy fraternity
Did I get it right or have I wrote a litany
That does not sound right from where I should be
Or silent must it be to be on top of an oak tree
Waiting for the wolf to howl at the moon and me
So again i tried to find a rhyme of such beauty
On the shore of the endless world I stood there waiting for Da Vinci.

Sitting in Darkness on a Sunny Day

2006-08-13T20:13:00.000+08:00

We are all alone
Within our own self imposed cells
Afraid to be, to say, to do, what might not be accepted
To be rejected

We are all searching
For something, somewhere, someone
The one

We are all struggling
To survive, to thrive, to feel alive

We all need
Sustenance, shelter, a little luck
A human touch

We all suffer
From our circumstances, pride, things we cannot forget
For regret

Let some light into your world
Share some of the gazillion pieces of knowledge
Doesnt matter if its for a short time or forever
Open your eyes, the candle is lit
Can you see it?

By Clare

The Unseen Revisited.

2006-07-17T18:28:00.000+08:00

Fluttering wings of the butterflies descend upon your unseen war.
A tornado they say it will create upon the barren shore.
Instigation of thy Fuhrer who have seen his own Holocaust.
Peched upon his own kingdom, he's ready to slaughter the heffer red.
Upon the Dome the prayer called, silence in its barrage of hate.

The fairy tale, the lore, the myth, the sad ending of a trilogy.
Who has the fairest king to sit upon the throne of spirituality.
The sand of bedouin lays red in July, come September it will cry.
The war machine has laid its plan, the quest for Jerusalem is well at hand.
Swords and Lance are ready to fly, into the heart of the despised clan.

I heard your story time and time again.
The crusaders, the holy warriors, the spin doctors.
I could recite the line from your own chapters that say
Hey, we are your brothers
But nay we shal not hear
When the call of peace is again slaughtered.

My trains of thoughts have been bombarded and derailed by the unseen forces
Who claim victory upon my name, who seeks coverage upon the slained.
I am left to ponder the carnage that was left behind, the broken charred doll
The dreams of tomorrow lay wasted upon the work of the unseen forces
With their unseen war and their unseen ideology and their unseen courage.

Let the light shine upon the Unseen, Let the Light be the Beacon, Let the Light be your Salvation.
Let your Light shine through the darkess of days and you will SEE,
The Unseen.

Charlie is Back -

2006-06-28T20:34:00.000+08:00

I am a pauper, locked in my own cell of ignorance.
I seek Charlie only to find him surface like a tormented clown.
Its been years since we see his demise but now there is a new Charlie in town.
He used to wear red with a sickle and a hammer but now, his color fades to green.
The algae ridden hue of his comrades have since took over his reign.
He spreads in silence, taking the life out of the unforgiven.
He knows that it corrupts, the mind, the sould, the flesh but yet it stays.
Lingering in the dark recesses of our mind, with hope as its carrot.
The beauty of hope mark by the illusion of the common man.
One day, he says, believing that day will come when the hue of the mill will wrap him.
Comfort him with the silken web of deception by the ugly few.
I met Charlie on the bank of the Mekong.
He creeps into the stillness of the river, emerging like the mystical Naga.
Spewing venom lacede with poisonous words, confusing the world we are in.
Charlie have spread its disease around the planet that is dtying from the disease of the clueeless mind.
The final chapter sees to it that the beast will be slaughtered but who will be the final revelation.
As the curtain is drawn on the dawn of mankind, we seek to find a place of comfort.
Through the glitter that is not gold, we pray to understand what wisdom holds in the treasure trove of the 21st century.
Earth is crying out for forgiveness, the torture is too much to endure but everyone talks about Charlie.
Like Charlie is their new buddy that will save them from themselves, from the pain and suffering.
Buddha have said it before, behold the truth but the lies creeps in again, and again, and again until there is no more lies to be told.
Crafted from the believef of the blind faith that put its trust upon what there is no value.
Charlie values nothing, nor is he of any value less we put a value to him.
Yes, he is there, out there, there is abit of Charlie in all of us.
Listen to your heart when the time comes as Charlie is back in town and he is the Unforgiven One.

A Bed of Petunias

2006-05-28T23:29:00.000+08:00

The creaking wheel of time no longer waits for the next cycle of life to inherit the illusion of the new world that seems hidden from the scars of tomorrow only to see that the step you take is a step back into the bowel of conformity, anticipating a life filled with psychedelic nuances and magical mushroom only to awake into a nightmare that starts with the separation of the umbilical cord that nourish the life that is me and you, knowing that the day will come when the earth shake and the moon laugh at the dog whose master is but a lamb to the street urchins hanging on to the complexity and diversity of the world that never forget the trauma of the war and the silence of the lambs that leave its pen for a promise of a better future and slid into a whole lot of confusion and relation and degradation of the skin that bear the mark of the color of the species of homosapien, heamopradite congregating to witness the birth of a new child, the love of another is what makes you more of a man then I am, with that I lay my hand to sleep and fall on the mattress that rest my head in light of a dream that will take me to a place of wonders with a secret I would reveal on the wooden crypt of what lies on a bed of roses and petunias.

Ain't Got a Title for this...

2006-05-16T20:27:00.000+08:00

She took those words out of my mouth.
Those lies...
Sinking further down into Hades
My cries...
I might have found a gem.
Slip through my paws.
I let it slip with me.
I could only guess your worth.
Slipping behind the enemy line.
I forgot I was a love deserter.
Leaving behind my comrades for the freedom of a backpacker.
Packing his bag for a trip down under.
My heart is beating against my temporal lobe.
I want to see a perfect storm.
One that start up my aching heart.
Against the backdrop of another heart ache.
I stop, and hustle down a slopping path.
Deviate from this unfolding story of treachery.
My heart, my heart.
Charge it back again.

A Place Call Sin

2006-04-26T20:39:00.000+08:00

Shall we dance the tango, on a hot summer night?

Sweat dripping down the curve of your back.
Sweetness taste of a first kiss lost.
Ahh, the devil in you says too much.

Shall we dance again in the Twilight Club?
A shot of vodka and a Chupa Chup.
Lost in translation I beg of you again
Give me that shot of Smirnoff in a salt laced rim.

Now the party is over or have it just begun?
Not sure if my right hand stays on its course
Back to the lane where the story unfolds
On Wednesday night where we look for fools

Tricky Business

2006-04-14T18:28:00.000+08:00

Away from the city light where fireflies dance
Oblivious to the tantrum of a spoil rotten child
My rampant distress masking my happiness
A prodigal child stood awake at the door
Waiting for the next meal
That will keep him alive for a little bit more
Maybe the scrap on the floor would suffice his hunger
Or a word of love

I saw strange colours floating around me
Some are white, red even lavender bubbles
Bursting with intensity like a wild August 9th firework
Wild might be a little far of the book of rules
Nearing the judgement day of another betrayal
I hope for a voice that silence my existence

Now the day has inch a little nearer to another day
As the sun stood the moon shows its face
A little man on the moon shooting sunshine
My aching running shoe need a bit of a breather
Before the next race

Choo Choo the train is coming
And Batman is having a fling with the Money Penny
On your knees I stood to believe
Pass the bacon I need to rethink
And the spores are running wild
I might just be martyred, I might

We found out we are somewhere out there
Across the seas of pink daisies
Needless to say I will be free
Thoughtless random misgiving will only hurt those that are close to you
Lets trade my heart for your soul
Maybe i live a little bit more
Through your lens I might see
I might just see
Who's behind the lens....Who again?

Splitting Bad Headache

2006-03-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

My sight is set on the day I leave my shadow behind
Tarnished past is just a lesson in my history class
Of firestorms ravaging through the virgin forest
I have yet turn five but the horrows still survive
In my mind of bubbles and candy cane
Running in the field and swimming in the river
Where have all the saints go
In the direction of a runaway train going at 80 maybe 90
My head is banging on the outside, colliding atoms, splitting elements
So many people to please
Not enought time for me to be in peace.
Where have all the good people go..he sang
I wonder so.

Initial P

2006-03-30T01:17:00.000+08:00

I heard him say just the other day.
On the way to the corner store.
Have you found what you were looking for?
I see nothing, nothing no more
Shouting across the field
I have a dream, a dream, a dream
Brought down by fools on the pulpit
White Noise is all I hear
Taking my dreams away
Free no longer will I be
Till they have a bullet with My Initial P....

Zaytuna Institute

2006-03-29T02:35:00.000+08:00

Texan Muslim

2006-03-28T18:07:00.000+08:00

43 Things

2006-03-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

I stumble across a fantastic website where you can post 43 things you want to achieve in your life. A wonderful place to start dreaming of a better future.

Crysalis

2006-03-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

My eyes set upon a crysalis, struggling to be free from its shackles.
Writhing away from its cocoon that enslave its wings.
Wings that are meant to spread and wings that are meant to fly.
Wings of angels to fly back to where home is.
Still it struggle not knowing what lies between the cover of its own thread
Faith lies in the heart that wishes things will be different
Easier to believe that the world is nothing more then a desolate place
Struggling for every breath and struggling for every meal
How could a little soul finds so much hope
Hope that cease to exist in its own mirage
Maybe it just need some comfort
Comfort to lay its wing to rest
I wish you well little soul, fly away to a place where you truly belong.

Mercy Mercy Me

2006-03-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

Mercy Me - Marvin Gaye

Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain't what they used to be
No, no
Where did all the blue sky go?
Poison is the wind that blows
From the north, east, south, and sea
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain't what they used to be
No, no
Oil wasted on the oceans and upon our seas
Fish full of mercury
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain't what they used to be
No, no
Radiation in the ground and in the sky
Animals and birds who live nearby are dying
Oh, mercy mercy me
Oh, things ain't what they used to be
What about this overcrowded land?
How much more abuse from man can you stand?
My sweet Lord
My sweet Lord
My sweet Lord

MAG - One Lesser Bomb

2006-03-13T22:33:00.000+08:00

Can We Just Be Friends?

2006-03-13T18:02:00.000+08:00

Salute to Innocence

2006-03-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

As the night welcome you into its lullaby, strandard in this world you call home, where conscience are shed for the love of gold, I welcome a novel embrace from you. Awake on a silent night, I'm unfazed by the sorrow that dwells inside. Every question asked, lighten the burden of truth where diseased heart fested by maggots of the intolerance delight upon the pain of the innocence. Hope sinks further into the abyss where clutching claws disguise as angels wing, let it fall further into a solitary black hole of decadence. I have not made my peace upon this world that treats life as a chip to pawn on a poker night, wasting away the sorrow down a bottle or a needle or just a place to take this sorrows away. Cry me a river of tears, awash in the deluge, take me away from here where the smile of the innocence shine like a bright orion light. Give me a reason to understand the story that you unfolds with your hand that grab the life of a 3 years old. Give me a reason to believe that the world is save from demons that lurks in the corner of emphathy. I have seen enough tormented heart that will bleed for eternity and yet the music keeps on playing and playing. Will it stop, will it stop when the music ends, let it so, let it so.

Are You My Immuno Type?

2006-03-03T15:16:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder how you fall in love? Is it beyond our comprehension and accept it as a gift from heaven? I wonder everyday who I will end up with. Will she be beautiful, intelligent, funny and have a caring heart? Or will she be someone else? Could it be that love at the end of the day is just a way for us to find the perfect match to propagate the enxt generation?

There are girls who are gorgeous yet can be a major turn off and some who are as plain as a piece of white sheet but exciting none the less. What triggers this feelings and emotions? I wonder.

It might just be that they smell good.

Scarlet Letter

2006-02-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

I stumble upon an old yellow letter

Wrinkled, dog eared with scribbles in blue

I have forgotten all about its existence
Black holed memory that was once true

Where letters exist far from few
Lies a secret hidden from view

Escape into a memory of multicolored hue

I remember the death of my lies with you

A Million Little $$$$

2006-02-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

Beat Up Jack

2006-02-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

Jack is Dead.
Don't call him no more.
He drunk his sorrows down at the beat street
Dance the night away with his noon day demon
Penning his eulogy with a blood stained tip

My Father's Shoe

2006-02-24T18:02:00.000+08:00

I'm wearing my father's shoe
The one he kept in the box
Never letting it out to breath
Or lifting the lid to see the light

I'm wearing my father's shoe
Black calf leather
smooth as a baby behind
Shining in the night sky

I'm wearing my father's shoe
The one that he can't afford
Polishing it with mink oil
On a saturday afternoon

I'm wearing my father's shoe
The one he never walks a mile in
I'm left standing with sores
Nothing more, Nothing more

Give Peace A Chance

2006-02-24T02:30:00.000+08:00

Peace is like a druken whore
Waiting to get laid with soldiers on the front line
Checking to see if the cause is worthy
Of Death
Of Life
Of Freedom
Of Peace
Whoring itself against the backdrop of loose change
A dime a reason to the blind massess
I've seen this movie before
It begins with the end
Peace is a fucking whore
In bed with the sandman
Burning my eyes with hope of a kiss
In the middle of Time Square or even somewhere
Where the Sun retire into the shadow of the moon
Peace needs a good hump to get it moving
Let it taste the sordid passion she's forgotten
Crawling on the floor, begging like a whore it is
Give it a Chance
Give it a Chance
We all know how the song goes

Another Sad Requiem

2006-02-24T01:58:00.000+08:00

I could recite a million lines of broken promises
On the gravel cobbler stones of hopelessness
Instead I see the reason for my infamy
Mortal bondage of my own solitary

Pick me up from this empty spaces
Devoid of light I fall into pieces
Moving on to a beautiful realm
Where my heart is no longer at ransom

So let me forgive myself
Penance for my salvation
On earth where I endure
True love in the wrong places

Wayne 7:15

2006-02-23T16:53:00.000+08:00

Time cease for a brief moment while I salvage my past.

One

2006-02-23T00:19:00.000+08:00

Remember when our eyes saw our soul
It was One
Our heart beats in unison... mine skip a beat or two
Seeing you before me, a moment I capture in my heart

Gone Fishing.

2006-02-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

How it prick me slowly.
Like a rose thorn naked to the eye.
Scarlet red stained my white lace sheet.
Hidden in the mist of my rambles.
Lies in wait a forgotten secret.
Across the bridge that once stood.
Scrambling like rabid rottweiler.
Running against my doppelhanger.
Seeking for my fall.
Seeking for my soul.
Leaching the force of my being.
I wait like a hawk.
Perch on a mountain top.
I see all that I see.
Waiting, waiting for the next kill.

Meat, Meat Galore

2006-02-20T17:29:00.000+08:00

Master of Puppets

2006-02-20T17:16:00.000+08:00

You finally realised that we have a choice? Every single quantum structure of our being have a say on how an event turns out. Isn't that fascinating. So in that case, who is the observer or am I the one being observed. If that is right, will his observation dictates how my life events will turn out. Now it gets complicated. Who is at the driver seat? I thought I was untill he came along. The observer I mean but wasn't I the one who is observing? Let's get this clear. If I have no control on what my atoms, neurons, cells and hormones are doing, then what am I actually. An empty house with masters that I've never seen or heard before. Am I the slave or the master of this temple? Who is hungry at the end of the day? I feel like a cheesecake or maybe a glass of wine or a shot up my arm. Do I need it or the masters in this temple of flesh and blood? I am a slave of my own domain. Pop me a Prozac and call it quit.

Into the Light....

2006-02-20T17:09:00.000+08:00

The One That Got Away.

2006-02-18T18:44:00.000+08:00

Will you say goodbye to me on this dusty road?
Will I have to take a ride back to our bare abode?
Will the moon shine on my stricken heart?
Will the sun dry my tears and let the rain depart?

Morning has come to great my weary soul.
My smile still says it all.
You are my precious delicate angel
Shining through the crack of dawn.

I Miss You!

2006-02-18T18:43:00.000+08:00

Forsake me if I seek your embrace.
Desert me if I want the world.
Kiss my sweet lying lips
You been missing for way too long
Upon the sepulcher, I shiver among the dead
Sweet angel lies here with me
Say a prayer light a candle
And may this moment last for eternity.

Can You Speak Up?

2006-02-18T18:42:00.000+08:00

Speak! Doth have no voice?
Have the idols of love taken over you?
Your senses engulfed in a flame of ice?
Can you grasp the cold fire that set your heart ablaze?
You speak with much desire through your looking glass.
Who do you see staring back at you?
Is it a lost love or one that’s found?
Are you marred by your own illusion?
Or have you found the origin of the sea?
The truth was questioned.
Still you open yourself to the bliss
With a smile I did speak.

Thou Art Mysterious!

2006-02-18T18:40:00.000+08:00

I roam the seven heavens of my soul
From the depth of the earth I seek refuge
Raised from the blind ethereal darkness
I fear the light that shine through me
Speak from the tongue that nourished my heart
I fall into the ravine with much ease
I sought for the bliss of a kiss
On the hand of the messenger
In a world where the eyes falters much
The pain of absence from the love of mine
So seek I will in my cave of slumber
Finding nothing there except gold and glitter
Again I call out your name
You were there all along
Feeling the beat on my jugular

Which Side Up?

2006-02-18T18:24:00.000+08:00

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, again. I was suppose to be helping out a relief organization to pack toys for the victims of the Pakistani earthquake. I did managed to drag myself out of bed early in the silent morning a week ago but today, it seems the stars want me to be in bed. I started the ritual of sleeping way past the morn till I get a beastly headache. Its suffocating to be in the space I am in now. Maybe a shot of something might cure or at least mask it for a while. Some says that it strikes without warning. It creeps slowly and makes your brain a breeding ground for its minions. It lets you believe that things are how it should be. Grey and void. I'm like a tree being crush by the roots and thorns of a parasitical vines. It allows me to breath only so that it will live. Should I hack the vines away with the help of Prozac saw? It might hack me along the way. And, I don't want to lose me. Though pain comes as a package for the body and brain I inhibit, I wouldn't want to lose ME. So, I spent the day..using only the limbic part of my brain and now crafting something that is remotely intelligent, sending messages to the universe and maybe my message in a blog might be picked up by someone, and sue me for littering the cyberspace with junk.

God's Mobile?

2006-02-02T16:53:00.000+08:00

It's the second of February. A month have passed since the year started with a puff. Its getting lame writing sad blogs every single day. What can i say, another dumb ass luck day. I need to write those entries in my diary. I would like to share but I can't. It have to do with the business or what is left of it. I should be looking at writing a resume. maybe what I taught my clients to do before might come in handy for me. What can a dreamer do in this ethereal world? So Bush sadi something during the State of The Union speech. Sounds very muffle coming from a lying drone like himself. Now its Iran turn to get the brunt of the Emperor. I'm just flabbergasted at what I see. If any of you knows God's personal number, give him a call and wake him up. He's been a sleep way too long.

And the right answer is.....

2006-02-01T21:49:00.000+08:00

I found myself struggling against the grain again. I wonder why it is so easy to just allow life details to pass us through. That is for most but some unlucky few have the "gift" to see them. Gifts that haunts you more then help you sort out your life. I came across something today. Something that make me question. In that moment, my life goes around in circle again. Do i devour information too much that I'm getting indigestion. I'm not sure. That is the theme of my life. I no longer can feel what is real except semblence of reality. The poems that I am supposed to write lay unfinished. maybe I feel that if I complete anything, that will the end of me. Like a finished book is a curse on to my life. So I procrastinate, even further so that the Grim Reaper will not have a reason to take my lifeless soul away across the River Styx. Will I have to walk across the sword towards heaven, that is what Zoroaster said, hmmm even Muhammad attest to that. They might be right and I'm just playing a game of chance hoping that I choose the right answer. For all I know, Scientology might be the answer they are looking for.

Telling Time

2006-01-02T03:00:00.000+08:00

It’s raining out here. Has been so for the past months, never seem to dissipate with the coming of the New Year. Its eleven-hour pass 2006 and life remains the same. New Year celebration is a moment in time crossing through that gateless gate of love and coming back drunk. It seems to be the moment where the inhabitants of this planet decided to believe that there is such thing as happiness, induced or otherwise. I was one of them who decided to get out of my apartment before making my yearly ritual of lighting up a candle at midnight becomes a religion in itself. That's what you do when you are single and alone, believing that the universe is celebrating with you. Looking at it, religion might started out by single man who got nothing better to do then sit in the dark and light candle.

East Coast, a beach hang out was filled with merry makers with their cans of stringers running around making a mess of a tranquil place. I was expecting something more laid back but who am I kidding, it’s the New Year, liken it to an effect of one’s past year’s adventures being erased and rebooted for the brand new calendar. It’s just a moment in time and it’s a blessing to see that we still have time to evolve to be a specie our creator will be proud off.

Journaling takes so much of discipline that I never got round to doing it. Now it’s the brand new spanking year, I thought I should chronicle my life and maybe gain something out of it. The trouble with journaling is that you need to find things to write about and as a single candle lighting guy, I don’t feel I have much to type. Though I have a gazillion stuff to share, mostly junk knowledge to the untrained mind, I feel I lack that stuff to make my life looks like a sitcom or some fake reality show. That is an oxymoron I’m sure.

Entrance, stage left, Josie. The one that got away.

I received a New Year SMS from her. Ecstatic to receive one, trying to savor every word of it. I replied with love and a smile. Then I received another message. Nothing pretty about it. She’s having an operation coming Saturday and the doctor think it might be cancerous. I was blank for a while. Did not reply back. Recomposing myself to call her. I’m afraid and saddened and it brought back lots of memories when she has to go for her slip disc operation. Now, it’s another operation on her left neck. I’m feeling sick now…will write soon.

Sufi Feel

2006-01-01T22:52:00.000+08:00

Show me the paths that love strides.
Gallant like a knight.
Honor with kind words luminating the castle wall.
Night after night the silence of a hidden love wakes me up.
I look into the abyss and long for the jump.
It is a long way down but heaven is nowhere in sight.
I long for the day that never comes.
Love the sublime love and surrender my fate to God.
Close your eyes and you feel me next to you.
Close enough with silent touch.
My smile has become my emblem.
Pin on my heart is a promise.
Love the one who love you.